{Written Jan 15th 2011} Resent...Meant.

Hopefully by now in your recovery process you've at least 'heard' of these nasty little buggers that can destroy an alcoholic/addict faster than anything else. (you know "number one offender" and all that jazz? No? It's in the book. Both of em'. Yep.) Mirriam and Webster what say you?

RE-SENT-MENT

noun \ri-zent-mənt\
DEFINITION OF RESENTMENT
; a feeling of indignant displeasure or persistent ill will at something regarded as a wrong, insult, or injury

Not the word persistent. Meaning of course ...continuing, lasting, or holding on, despite opposition or difficulties. No one told you to get a dictionary to read along with your 12 step literature? No? Hmm..Now you know. Persistent ill will. Despite opposition to such ill will. Think of it as 're-feeling' the hurt. Over and over. When you think about it. Possibly enough to bring a blush to your face and sparks to your eyes.

Now. Steps four and ten address these resentments clearly. (Refer to Big Book or Basic Text for further instructions ) Step ten handles the day to day cropping up of new issues as a daily review. But how do we deal with a situation burning in our head that occured ten minutes ago?

Ever heard the old addage "If there are 100 people in a room and 99 like me...I'll focus on the one that doesn't and why the HELL don't they like me?" It seems that we have this peculiar mental twist (ahem) that causes us to focus on the negative ...the injustice ...the "I can't believe you just did that to me" -ism of it all. This is NOT just an addict thing. Trust me. But for us it is especially dangerous. That tape recorder from hell needs to NOT be pressed on repeat if we are to live a happy, joyous and free life. Think of it as pulling yourself out of the red rage tape you've been stuck in for so long.

Now then. We know that the steps take care of resentments. Yes. What would you think if you could avoid them altogether? That if someone "made" you mad or hurt or angry....you could feel the feeling and then let it go??? That's sorta the whole goal here people. This is a sort of culmination of several recovery principles all wrapped up in one big shiny bow.

• powerlessness over people, places, things
• let go and let god (whatever that may look like to you)
• rule 62 (don't take yourself too damn seriously)
• "what other people think of me is none of my business"
• pray for that person (what prayer you ask? Well I just happen to have one that fits perfectly. go figure)

It even goes so far in the Big Book to delineate a prayer for anger. Step four directions page 67.

"God help me to show this person the same tolerance, pity and patience that I would cheerfully grant a sick friend. This is a sick person, how can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done, not mine."



It's called learning how to be a duck in water. What can you change? You. That is all. No more. No less. If you're doing inventories -- awesome. It's your path to freedom and certainly nothing about which to be scared of. If you're not there yet remember...we can't afford to be hypersensitive angry folks "the grouch and the brainstorm were not for us."

Stop the resentful thoughts from forming, use the anger prayer. No one should have that much power over you.. Take a moment. Breathe. Remember. You're worth it.