{Originally Written Dec 8th, 2010} Take Another Little Piece...

It happens often. Today it was a random message from a bloke : "I can't. I'm lost. Alone. This shit doesn't work. You people are liars. Life is NOT better. Go get bent!" Hopeless, helpless, lost the will to fight the lies behind the eyes. Drown out the fear with anger and pain, lashing at outstretched hands leaving trickles of despair with every bitten off word.





Do you remember the weight of the world sitting on your chest and crushing the life outa you? Be it at the end of our using or freshly in the rooms, this feeling was more common than not for those of us recovering. Pain so real in it's grip that you thought you'd never escape. The despair of the "bottom" is on we're told not to regret lest we repeat it again.

My heart breaks off just a tiny little piece, and I sent it with that lost soul who messaged me. "Here" I say without a word. "Use this as needed. May you find hope." Not clarity or peace or even long term recovery. Just "hope" that it CAN get better. No one can convience a drunk or junkie that it's gunna be okay. Wish it were so, but it's not. All we can do is share our experience, strength and foremost hope; that there is a solution. That all is not lost .That if an addict like me can do the recovery dance then...you certainly can too!

So today there are tiny pieces of my heart all around the world, for I speak to lots of people daily via wireless internet. Funny thing about the giving, it comes back a millionfold; and my heart is swelling right outa my chest. To give is to receive.

Hope ...is a beautiful boomerang.